Jokes about economists
Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a metre to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a metre to the right. The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!"
A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the
The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathemetician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."
Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"
Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a
A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.
Q: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to change the bulb and one to assume the existence of ladders.
Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
A2: None. If it really needed changing, market forces would have caused it to happen.
A3: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
Q:Why did God create economists?
A:In order to make weather forecasters look good.
A traveller wandering on an island inhabited entirely by
cannibals comes upon a butcher shop. This shop specialised in
human brains differentiated according to source. The sign in the
Artists' Brains $9/lb Philosophers' Brains $12/lb Scientists' Brains $15/lb Economists' Brains $19/lb
Upon reading the sign, the traveller noted, "My those economists' brains must be popular!" To which the butcher replied, "Are you kidding! Do you have any idea how many economists you have to kill to get a pound of brains?!"
HA! ... It's a *supply side* joke!
A central banker walks into a pizzeria to order a pizza.
When the pizza is done, he goes up to the counter get it. There a clerk asks him: "Should I cut it into six pieces or eight pieces?"
The central banker replies: "I'm feeling rather hungry right now. You'd better cut it into eight pieces."
A physicist, a chemist and an economist are stranded on an island, with nothing to eat. A can of peas washes ashore. The physicist says, "Let's smash the can open with a rock." The economist thinks that's hilarious, and says, "That's ridiculous, you'll have peas all over the place.". The chemist says, "Let's build a fire and heat the can first." The economist thinks that's even more hilarious, and says, "That's ridiculous, the can will explode and you'll have peas all over the place." Both the physicist and the chemist are getting rather irate, and the physicist say, "What do you suggest?" And the economist says, "It's simple. Assume we have a can-opener....."
Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
Socialism: You have two cows. State takes one and gives it to someone else.
Communism: You have two cows. State takes both of them and gives you as much milk as you need.
Bureaucratic Communism: You have two cows. State takes both of them and gives you as much milk as the regulations say you should need.
Bureaucracy: You have two cows. State regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both cows, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
Fascism: You have two cows. State takes both of them and sells you milk.
Nazism: You have two cows. State takes both of them and shoots you.
Liberalism: You have two cows. State dosen't care whether you exist, let alone your cows.
Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.